main points on my mind. -i didn't finish this the other day, so I'm posting it now.-
1. I'm adopted. My parents & extended family are of Italian descent. The woman who birthed me is of Puerto Rican descent, and I know nothing of the dude who's sperm I'm made of. My brother is also adopted; he's Cuban & Puerto Rican. I'm really, REALLY open about my adoption; it's who I am, therefore I will embrace it, whether I know much about it or not.
I'm well aware that I was raised by an Italian family, but the blood in me..my genetic make up is Puerto Rican - fully, or not fully..whatever. If someone asked me my background, I say "I'm Puerto Rican, adopted into an Italian family." Or maybe sometimes I just say, "I'm Puerto Rican." Why...? idk, because I AM...!? Being raised a certain way doesn't alter what is in your blood...
My brother and I - and now my father, i assume...- have different views on this. I will never say that I AM Italian, unless I find out there is some Italian blood running through my body. Never. It's not me disrespecting the Italian culture, because that is what I know.. It's me NOT FORGETTING or OVERRIDING the fact that my blood, my birth-mother's blood..is from Puerto Rico. Simple as that..
2. My new approach is to not ask questions, unless completely necessary. In the past I've asked question that, in reality, I didn't NEED or WANT to know the answer to. The answers only planted seeds in my head & made shit hit the fan set on high-speed. In the past I was set on knowing every single thing about a person's past, when in reality their past shouldn't have meant that much to me. I've come to realize that what I want- and need- is to take a person for who they are in the moment.
I understand, past experience mold us into who we are today, but sometimes who we are TODAY is more important, to me atleast. Honestly, it's hard to bite my tongue and not ask questions, whether they be positive of negative. I feel like whatever I want to know, or whatever someone wants me to know, will come out in time..either via them, or via..life? I don't know..it's just my new experimental approach. With that approach, I also act accordingly..It's hard for me to sit there & talk about myself, so I wait for questions to be asked. When a question is asked, I tell the truth with a smile. However, when questions turn into an investigation of my life, I get a tad...offended, I guess is the word. I'm not here to hide anything. I'm not the type to regret things in my past. Everything I've been through, I'm not ashamed of. I just don't see the relevance of every single thing..to my being in the present.
..If you go looking for things you know you may not like, eventually you'll find them..whether they've been there all along, or you speak them into existance. That's why I opt to take people as they are.
