i had a really good cry today. idk if i'm satisfied yet, but i needed it. luckily i was in the rain, and already drenched from that car that drove by and splashed me. so movie-esque.

more love-blabber..

girls always write about love. it's like.. just the way it is, or something? idk.. there's no answers to my questions, and no valid responses to my statements.. well, there's one answer..

i just heard a profound statement that's repeating in my head over & over and over.. it's not annoying, but it is at the same time, only because i've heard it before..and the person it came from was unexpected. it was to the effect of "...til somebody sweeps you off your feet..". someone else said that to me before, and it was just words, until i experienced it. now, the statement has more meaning to it..

but, of course..i'm unsure of whether there's a way to tell if you've been "swept", or if you just assume that you have..& go with it. i'm under the impression that you never really know, only because nowadays people split even after being together for decades. in that sense, questions: does it just fade away? i always thought that once you've been swept off your feet, it stays that way..or can you just be swept off your feet time and time again? i wish it was a one time deal, that makes things more special..or something..

the other day, someone else asked "do you think that there are people from your past, that whenever you see them..no matter when it is, you'll always feel something for them?" i think that's just as profound to state.. the memory can take control of us so easily & we're capable of remembering SO far back into our lives. i think that i'd have some kind of reaction towards everyone i've known from the past..whether good or bad. a reaction is totally normal..it's the step taken AFTER the reaction that really makes a difference.. questions: do you fall out of love? do you fall out of lust..? which is stronger? if you're ever in love..how long after the breakup do you stay in love..or does it just never go away?

GOD is the answer. I think that's the only answer.. God.

smooch

it's been so long! i won 't fall off, i swear.

i've been super busy, or so i feel. school, work, life..it's all been consuming me, and everything is pretty much a blur. that's what i get for not stopping & writing everything down here.

i don't know if i have anything specific to write about..maybe randoms.

i'm not graduating til forever, thanks to my shithole old advisor. luckily, i've switched & Robin is now my advisor. i trust her to get the job done correctly..it's just unfortunate that i went so long without knowing the right shit to take. work at the GAP is..eh. i get paid beans, but my discount is pretty dope, so maybe i shouldn't complain. but then its like..i barely make enough to actually shop, so i can't put that discount to work. i'm trying to find a job in a gallery or art-related setting for the summer. i should get an internship, but i want to be paid and i'm in no rush anymore so whatever!

emotionally i've been good, for the most part. i'm happy with J; i just think living so close takes it's toll sometimes. i mean, i guess. i know i love every minute spent... it's still new, and there are going to be kinks to work out. i guess that's all i'll mention. i miss ashley.. we used to have SO much fun when she lived on campus. honestly, the best days ever. i don't think there was a day we didn't pass out from laughing. we met under crazy circumstances, and she ended up being the truest friend i've ever had..behind God :)

that's it for now. <3